Primo Quotes

A. Whitney Brown

Alan Whitney Brown (born July 8, 1952) is an American writer and comedian best known for work on Saturday Night Live in the 1980s. In addition to writing for the program, he appeared opposite Dennis Miller in a biting satirical Weekend Update commentary segment called "The Big Picture." He won a 1988 Emmy Award for Outstanding Writing in a Variety or Music Program, along with Al Franken, Tom Davis, Phil Hartman, Mike Myers, Lorne Michaels and Conan O'Brien. He was also one of the original correspondents on Comedy Central's The Daily Show from 1996 to 1998

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The past actually happened but history is only what someone wrote down.

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Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.

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Harry S. Truman had his moods. His birthplace is the only tourist attraction in America where you do ...

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I'm not an atheist. How can you not believe in something that doesn't exist? That's way too convolut ...

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The very fact that the jaguar can become extinct while the Pekingese survives indicates to me that s ...

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There are a billion people in China. It's not easy to be an individual in a crowd of more than a bil ...

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Plant trees. They give us two of the most crucial elements for our survival: oxygen and books.

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Enjoy every minute. There's plenty of time to be dead.

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Once again decent citizens will be able to enter this house of worship, kneel down in front of a nea ...

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The Baptists' basic theology is that if you hold someone under water long enough, he'll come around ...

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I never joined, but I used to go to church now and then. I liked it, because they always passed out ...

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I think it's time to stop carping on the blunders of the President and give him some credit for crea ...

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Any good history book is mainly just a long list of mistakes, complete with names and dates. It's ve ...

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I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

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A group of white South Africans recently killed a black lawyer because he was black. That was wrong. ...

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