Aaron Karo Quotes

Aaron Karo (born June 18, 1979) is an American stand-up comedian and author best known for his Ruminations email column and series of books, his young adult novel Lexapros and Cons, and his Comedy Central special Aaron Karo: The Rest Is History

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Aaron Karo


"You only live once" is also an equally compelling reason not to do something

Aaron Karo


A very awkward situation occurs often in New York City when you are walking down a relatively empty sidewalk and there happens to be a person walking right next to you in the same direction as you at the exact same pace as you. I never know whether to pass or draft. It becomes sort of a strange competition.

Aaron Karo


I think the way you can tell if a guy and girl are in a serious relationship is whether or not they have black and white pictures of themselves together. That's the real test. Because it takes effort to get nice black and white photos. If you've gone that far, there's no turning back.

Aaron Karo


People who leave their cars on the street with tape covering their broken windows are obviously too trusting. I mean, when your car did have glass for a window, someone broke into it. How is tape any more of a deterrent? What are the thieves going to say? Ooh, that like looks like duct tape, we can't beat that. Let's look for one with scotch or masking.

Aaron Karo


“I went to the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania like my dad did. I even gave the graduation speech at Wharton, which is what my dad did. I wrote the speech.”

Aaron Karo


“I guess I ended up in business after all.”

Aaron Karo


The saving of empty beer and liquor bottles is a strange college phenomenon. I bet most of you college students reading this right now have some empties on a shelf in your room. Everyone knows how much college kids like to drink, do we really need to display it? It's a good thing, though, that this trend stops after college. Wouldn't it be weird if your parents had empty wine bottles up on their bedroom wall?

Aaron Karo


Video store arguments really bother me. Let's say it's a slow night on campus so you decide to stay in and rent a movie. You're in the video store and finally pick one out and your friend says, 'Oh, don't get that, it was on TV last week.' I hate when people say that. Who cares? Is it on TV right now? No? Good, then let's rent it.

Aaron Karo


What is with waiters who don't write anything down and memorize your order instead? Are you trying to impress me or something? If you were that smart you wouldn't be a goddamn waiter in the first place.

Aaron Karo


“I used to put down my experiences and beliefs and e-mail them to friends ever since I was a freshman.”

Aaron Karo