Andrew Dice Clay

Little Boy Blue... he needed the money!

Comics, a lot of them, are really depressed people, and I happen to be somebody that does have a lot ...

When you're at your own parents' funeral, when you're at somebody that you love's funeral, you reali ...

I lived in Beverly Hills for years. I always had a line, 'I hate the rich.' From what I witnessed af ...

I do whatever I do. I go to the club. I work on material. While other people are sleeping, I'm awake ...

By the time kids are 15, they're drunks and they're drug addicts and they're getting chicks pregnant ...

If it smells like fish its a dish. If it smells like cologne leave it alone.

There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many kids... her uterus fell out!

When you jerk off, you're saying "Hey", I care about me.

I'll always push myself because that's the journey of life. We do go through things. Some of it's in ...

I'm a Brooklyn guy onstage, and I try to really feed my fans with the kind of material they expect f ...

I've been getting in trouble my whole life and I really don't care what anybody thinks of what I do ...

I like real girls. When they're in bed with you, it's not a show. They just want to do that.

I always wanted to give people the more exciting version of what I think a comedian should be - beca ...

I certainly don't walk around my home or being with my family and just using profane language all th ...