Colin Quinn Quotes

Colin Edward Quinn (born June 6, 1959) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, and writer. On television, he is best known for his work on Saturday Night Live, where he anchored Weekend Update, on MTV's 1980s game show Remote Control, where he served as the announcer/sidekick, and as host of Comedy Central's late-night panel show Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn. Notable film work includes his role as Dooey in A Night at the Roxbury, Dickey Bailey in the Grown Ups films and playing Amy Schumer's father in the film Trainwreck. Comedians such as Jerry Seinfeld and Dave Attell cite him as the quintessential New York comedian.

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Colin Quinn


The ancient Greeks were the first ones to say an unexamined life is not worth living. They don't tell you of course what we found out, an examined life not that fascinating either.

Colin Quinn


Marie Antoinette was funny, I'm sure she was just misinterpreted. You know the 'Let them eat cake' line. She seems like she was kind of funny, like a Chelsea Handler or Kathy Griffin type.

Colin Quinn


I think Helen of Troy must have been pretty hot. She got two countries going crazy for 10 years over her.

Colin Quinn


People's - most people's job is talking about the future or like money not even in the present tense. It's not even paper.

Colin Quinn


The thing that drives me crazy is when comics say 'I have low self-esteem.' No you don't. You're standing on stage asking people to pay. You don't play an instrument. You want people to pay to hear what's in your mind. You don't have low self-esteem. You might have other problems.

Colin Quinn


You know, the funny thing about Lorne and that show is that, you can go over one million things, but in a business of bean counters, he still likes to laugh at small things and creates a show around it.

Colin Quinn


I feel most empires fell when they started to act human, but then look at Russia. They kept a pretty strong hand, and they fell from Afghanistan alone because Afghanistan is the graveyard of empires. I guess you just can't sustain it.

Colin Quinn


That's the beauty of being a comedian - it's the one job you're allowed to do that. We're lucky. We're really lucky.

Colin Quinn


I think the world honestly would be a much healthier place if instead of trying to find rationalizations for our bad behavior we would just say, "I was an asshole. Sure, there were reasons behind it, but that doesn't matter.

Colin Quinn


Everybody says before reviews come out, 'Oh, reviews don't matter,' just in case they're bad; everyone want to brace themselves.

Colin Quinn


I love people, I love studying people more than history. So whatever situation I see, then I look at, what were the people like, more than history itself.

Colin Quinn


I'm always working on stuff. But they never materialize. I'm always working on movies and TV shows.

Colin Quinn

#Tv


My name has zero value.

Colin Quinn


The mistake that people make in stand-up is thinking they're profound or they're deep when there are so many people who have more worthwhile ways of phrasing things.

Colin Quinn


Thank God for immigrants. They're the only ones who have any personality left. They still allow themselves emotions, judgments, and all those qualities that we are "evolving" past. I don't know what they're saying, but I can tell they're speaking honestly.

Colin Quinn