David Spade Quotes

David Wayne Spade (born July 22, 1964) is an American actor, stand-up comedian, writer and television personality. He rose to fame in the 1990s as a cast member on Saturday Night Live, then began a successful acting career in both film and television. He also starred and co-starred in the films Tommy Boy, Black Sheep, Joe Dirt, Joe Dirt 2: Beautiful Loser, Grown Ups, and Grown Ups 2, among others.

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David Spade


Most of the shows I want to do I'm not smart enough to figure out how to watch.

David Spade


It's just a campy blast. I just want to do as little as I can and make it good, and try not to sell out. I'm sure I will, but I'm just trying to postpone it.

David Spade


Hopefully, underlying all my jokes is an element of surprise.

David Spade


Sometimes when I watch a TV season, your favorite shows die quickly. And then sometimes it's not your favorite, and they live on for 12 years.

David Spade


I'm like a Dilbert cartoon.

David Spade


You know the drill. 18 is legal. 17 with consent. 16 with a note. 15 if her dad's in the room. Low five!

David Spade


It's so crazy in Hollywood.

David Spade


Success? You can't get a big head about it. When people stare at me, they could be whispering to their friend, 'That guy sucks! Have you seen him before? He's horrible.'

David Spade


My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.

David Spade


I just don't like to go out and deal with the real world. It's scary.

David Spade


I never dated much in high school or college.

David Spade


Staying in a hotel this time. They put me up in a little bit of a shithole. Yeah. Just this side of rinky dink. The first 7 floors are a homeless shelter, but I'm on 8.

David Spade


In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends.

David Spade


“The answer is, 'Yes, I do.' ”

David Spade


“I've been with a beautiful girl from time to time.”

David Spade