David Spade Quotes

David Wayne Spade (born July 22, 1964) is an American actor, stand-up comedian, writer and television personality. He rose to fame in the 1990s as a cast member on Saturday Night Live, then began a successful acting career in both film and television. He also starred and co-starred in the films Tommy Boy, Black Sheep, Joe Dirt, Joe Dirt 2: Beautiful Loser, Grown Ups, and Grown Ups 2, among others.

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David Spade


On Sundays, I lay low, sulk a lot, and try to get my head together for next week.

David Spade


There are a couple hard things. One, getting a funny idea that people can relate to; a funny idea or a funny script; there's a million pitches.

David Spade


With Saturday Night Live you're looking for any hook, any way to stay on the show.

David Spade


Stayed up and watched a little spanktrovision. It's the American way. There's really nothing wrong with spanktrovision. One of the best inventions of the 1900s, 20th century.

David Spade


People come and go around you, but you're never the one getting the big stuff. I like that.

David Spade


Don't make your kids look hot and dirty and sexy when they're 5-years old! It's really not the place or the time. You're about 11 years early.

David Spade


I don't like throwing myself in a place that's going to rock my world.

David Spade


My older brother was cool, so I was suddenly cool by association. And I totally dusted all my old math friends.

David Spade


It's just easier to make fun and cut down. It's kind of a way of life in America. If you can make people want to hear what you're going to say, it can be cruel and funny.

David Spade


I can see getting married and having a family, because it is the next thing on the agenda. You can only do this for so long. I'm old, and my friends all have kids. And I'm single, still blow drying my hair!

David Spade


As boys get older, they can't let on that it's cool to meet me.

David Spade


Bill Murray I always liked. I'm not as good as him, but there's a quality in him that I like. And then there's DeNiro, I'll never be that.

David Spade


I changed my act because I wasn't getting booked.

David Spade


I have two skateboards, but I don't get to use them much. I have a snowboard, which I've never used.

David Spade


I started doing the star turn and making a profit off it. Now I'm kind of one of them.

David Spade