David Spade Quotes

David Wayne Spade (born July 22, 1964) is an American actor, stand-up comedian, writer and television personality. He rose to fame in the 1990s as a cast member on Saturday Night Live, then began a successful acting career in both film and television. He also starred and co-starred in the films Tommy Boy, Black Sheep, Joe Dirt, Joe Dirt 2: Beautiful Loser, Grown Ups, and Grown Ups 2, among others.

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David Spade


I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those.

David Spade


I've had it where things didn't go well for me with movies or something that got canceled.

David Spade


It's hard to have a career.

David Spade


Nobody wants to read about your life. Who cares?

David Spade


When I'm interviewed on Leno, just be funny, period. That's all they want from me. I don't want to tell my life story.

David Spade


I talk to my dad all the time, he's more like my buddy than my father, and he's not happy that I use him in my act. But I tell him, I have to get something out of this.

David Spade


Seriously, you don't have to know English. It'd be nice, a nice little plus. We don't want miracles. You don't have to know the country's language. But just some shapes, that's all. A square. A little geometry.

David Spade


Now that I have the opportunities to do a lot, I want to do less.

David Spade


I wish I had that carefree lifestyle. But I guess I'm more private, and more inside.

David Spade


It's good to do stand-up. It kind of wakes you up and makes you feel like you're doing something. You got the crowd right there. That's all fun.

David Spade


“It's called reading,”

David Spade