Doug Stanhope

I love conspiracy theories. I used to just live on it. You know it's all hype and garbage, but you'r ...

Here's the path to sobriety: Play the Ron Paul drinking game. Watch CNN and take a drink every time ...

Charlie Chaplin said something to the effect that humor is an act of defiance, that we must laugh in ...

There's a lot of meth [in Bisbee]. So there's an ex-cop-car Tahoe and a BE DRUG FREE van parked righ ...

Race, Religion, Ethnic Pride, Nationalism does nothing but teach you how to hate people you have nev ...

It was either me or Confucius that said the journey of a thousand miles begins with a vicious ass ra ...

They say 'life is precious'. To who? To you, when you're young and you've got a few dollars in your ...

I had no musical or athletic ability, and I wasn't particularly good looking. Comedy was something I ...

Nationalism does nothing but teach you to hate people you never met, and to take pride in accomplish ...

I love when you get boner spam for boner pills and the subject is Be a better lover. Oh, the boner w ...

People wrestle alligators but not once has someone done it without an audience.

There's nothing funnier than getting a death threat via MySpace. Why don't you just write it in a ch ...

Controversial issues are always more interesting but I don't create material about a subject I have ...

Every 17 seconds a child dies on this planet from no clean drinking water. Good. Let's try to speed ...

You want to help mother Earth? Try sodomy. Sodomy is eco-friendly, and abortion is green.