Fran Lebowitz Quotes

Frances Ann "Fran" Lebowitz (born October 27, 1950) is an American author and public speaker. Lebowitz is known for her sardonic social commentary on American life as filtered through her New York City sensibilities. Some reviewers have called her a modern-day Dorothy Parker.

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Fran Lebowitz


Technological innovation has done great damage ... to eating habits. Food is now available in such unpleasant forms that one frequently finds smoking between courses to be an aid to digestion.

Fran Lebowitz


Nothing succeeds like address.

Fran Lebowitz


Albert Einstein didn't care where he lived. Albert Einstein was a genius. Albert Einstein wasn't getting lost in the master bedroom, he was lost in thought.

Fran Lebowitz


Smoking is, as far as I am concerned, the entire point of being an adult. Many people find smoking objectionable. I myself find many - even more - things objectionable. I do not like aftershave lotion, adults who roller-skate, children who speak French, or anyone who is unduly tan. I do not, however, go around enacting legislation and putting up signs.

Fran Lebowitz


Think before you speak. Read before you think.

Fran Lebowitz


Polite conversation is rarely either.

Fran Lebowitz


I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.

Fran Lebowitz


Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.

Fran Lebowitz


Andy Warhol made fame more famous.

Fran Lebowitz


If you're going to America, bring your own food.

Fran Lebowitz


You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.

Fran Lebowitz


Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.

Fran Lebowitz


“Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.”

Fran Lebowitz


“Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.”

Fran Lebowitz


“My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores. Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.”

Fran Lebowitz