Garrison Keillor Quotes

Gary Edward "Garrison" Keillor (born August 7, 1942) is an American author, storyteller, humorist, and radio personality. He is known as host of the Minnesota Public Radio show A Prairie Home Companion (called Garrison Keillor's Radio Show in some international syndication). Keillor created the fictional Minnesota town Lake Wobegon, the setting of many of his books, including Lake Wobegon Days and Leaving Home: A Collection of Lake Wobegon Stories. Other creations include Guy Noir, whom Keillor also voices, a detective who appears in A Prairie Home Companion.

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Garrison Keillor


Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

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A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

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Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.

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Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.

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It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

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They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

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Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

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I've wanted to be a writer since I was a boy, though it seemed an unlikely outcome since I showed no real talent. But I persevered and eventually found my own row to hoe. Ignorance of other writers' work keeps me from discouragement and I am less well-read than the average bus driver.

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A good newspaper is never nearly good enough but a lousy newspaper is a joy forever.

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That's the news from Lake Woebegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

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The great unrequited love tears open your heart to the beauty of the world, its small rivers and upland meadows. It also makes you kinder to the next hundred thousand persons who cross your path.

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I don't have a great eye for detail. I leave blanks in all of my stories. I leave out all detail, which leaves the reader to fill in something better.

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Sing your song; don't let the bastards get you down.

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Eating a little was like vomiting a little, just as bad as a lot.

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Liberalism is dead, so dead that Democrats have all become moderate Republicans, and the heavy hand of Big Government is now limp and damp and trembly.

Garrison Keillor


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