Primo Quotes

Jarod Kintz

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I bowl with cannonballs, because this is war, 1863 style. I could probably bowl a perfect 300 game u ...

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I call my thumb Napoleon, because I rarely ever lose a thumb war. Also because my thumb's so small, ...

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We made love like we made grilled cheese sandwiches. Did the sandwiches cause us to have sex? Did on ...

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I love advertising, because I love self-promotion. I love mirror time, which is Me Time.

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When tragedy befalls me and someone says, Better you than me, I always reply, Yes, I am better than ...

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Yesterday was my last day at work. My coworkers were so sad they all pitched in and bought me a one- ...

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I tell people, "Yeah, I went to Harvard University." What I don't tell them is I was only there for ...

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My kitchen sink has no truck attached. My love needs a waterproof suitcase in these Days of Desert a ...

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Jacksonville is home to the most romantic man in the known universe. And it will be for some time, u ...

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I fight with the strength of many lion meows. I love even more ferociously.

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Dream headline from Orafouraville Times: Man Let Go By Employer, Falls To Death

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I was hot so I gave myself a haircut. I then saw a bald man sweating, so I offered to tweeze his eye ...

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My internal voice raised its decibel level. Sam O. Same

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Once the bar gets set too high, simply lower it so you can keep on hitting your goals. You could get ...

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One of my main regrets in life is giving considerable thought to inconsiderate people.

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