Jarod Kintz

I bowl with cannonballs, because this is war, 1863 style. I could probably bowl a perfect 300 game u ...

I call my thumb Napoleon, because I rarely ever lose a thumb war. Also because my thumb's so small, ...

We made love like we made grilled cheese sandwiches. Did the sandwiches cause us to have sex? Did on ...

I love advertising, because I love self-promotion. I love mirror time, which is Me Time.

When tragedy befalls me and someone says, Better you than me, I always reply, Yes, I am better than ...

Yesterday was my last day at work. My coworkers were so sad they all pitched in and bought me a one- ...

I tell people, "Yeah, I went to Harvard University." What I don't tell them is I was only there for ...

My kitchen sink has no truck attached. My love needs a waterproof suitcase in these Days of Desert a ...

Jacksonville is home to the most romantic man in the known universe. And it will be for some time, u ...

I fight with the strength of many lion meows. I love even more ferociously.

Dream headline from Orafouraville Times: Man Let Go By Employer, Falls To Death

I was hot so I gave myself a haircut. I then saw a bald man sweating, so I offered to tweeze his eye ...

My internal voice raised its decibel level. Sam O. Same

Once the bar gets set too high, simply lower it so you can keep on hitting your goals. You could get ...

One of my main regrets in life is giving considerable thought to inconsiderate people.