Larry David Quotes

Lawrence Gene "Larry" David (born July 2, 1947) is an American comedian, writer, actor, playwright, and television producer. He and Jerry Seinfeld created the television series Seinfeld, where he served as its head writer and executive producer from 1989 to 1996. David has subsequently gained further recognition for the HBO series Curb Your Enthusiasm, which he also created, in which he stars as a semi-fictionalized version of himself. He is worth an estimated $900 million US dollars.

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Larry David


Sometimes I have these fantasies of just moving to a foreign country and coming back with a full head of hair. Or not even come back! Make a new life there with hair... Change my name, just see what happens.

Larry David


I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the National Guard, because I can finally put an end to all those who questioned my motives for enlisting in the Army Reserve at the height of the Vietnam War.

Larry David


The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it's the best of both worlds. There's a lot to be said for it.

Larry David


I'm not interested in closure. Some people just have heart attacks and die, right? There's no closure.

Larry David


Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.

Larry David


I never thought for a second that anything I ever did was going to make someone cringe. That never occurred to me.

Larry David


In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three times as long as service in the regular army, although to be perfectly honest, I was unable to fulfill my entire obligation because I was taking acting classes and they said I could skip my last year.

Larry David


My defensiveness in life really helps me as a driver.

Larry David


Religion doesn't play any part in my life in terms of how I live my life. But I don't think I've ever gone through a day in my life without hearing someone say the word 'Jew' or saying it myself.

Larry David


Well, I always think the worst things are going to happen here, because I'm - basically inside, I'm a bad person, and so the bad kind of takes over.

Larry David


My background is degradation and sloth, mostly.

Larry David


Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.

Larry David


Let's not forget, I got divorced.

Larry David


Being Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm was the best thing to happen to Larry David in life.

Larry David


I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out.

Larry David