Margaret Smith

My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?

There's a light at the end of the tunnel. And it's a train.

Safety was not a big thing when I was growing up. A seat belt was something that got in the way: 'Ma ...

“I don't visit my parents often because Delta Airlines won't wait in the yard while I run in.”

“I was much further out than you thought, and not waving but drowning”

“This is not unique to Volusia, ... It appears in a number of counties across the state.”

“The best contraceptive is the word no - repeated frequently.”

“They're what I call hit-and-run customers. They come into the store, buy their supplies and leave ...

“If I had been the Virgin Mary, I would have said "No"”

My mom's Jewish and my dad's Irish Catholic alcoholic, so I whine on the inside.

I can't get a relationship to last longer than it takes to make copies of their tapes.

I went out to dinner with a Marine last weekend. He looked across the table and he goes, "I could ki ...

I hate people. People make me pro-nuclear.

My femininity is always something I've tried to preserve in this dog-eat-dog world.

Sin recognized but that may keep us humble, But oh, it keeps us nasty.