Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
View quoteA smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
View quoteI want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
View quoteWhat I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
View quoteThe only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
View quoteBest way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
View quoteA bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
View quoteWhatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
View quoteThe reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.
View quoteLife is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.
View quoteAim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.
View quoteHealth - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.
View quoteTo get a roaster clean, send something like baked apples in it to a neighbor. Neighbors always retur ...
View quoteWhen I was a kid and we used to play Post Office, I was the Dead Letter Office.
View quoteI was the world's ugliest baby. I have photos of my folks leaving the hospital with sacks over their ...
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