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W. C. Fields

William Claude Dukenfield (January 29, 1880 – December 25, 1946), better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler and writer. Fields' comic persona was a misanthropic and hard-drinking egotist, who remained a sympathetic character despite his snarling contempt for dogs and children.

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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

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No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

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You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

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I like children - fried.

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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

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Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the abori ...

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How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case o ...

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I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

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Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.

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Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.

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The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons ca ...

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I'd like to see Paris before I die... Philadelphia will do.

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I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.

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