Wilson Mizner Quotes

Wilson Mizner (May 19, 1876 – April 3, 1933) was an American playwright, raconteur, and entrepreneur. His best-known plays are The Deep Purple, produced in 1910, and The Greyhound, produced in 1912. He was manager and co-owner of The Brown Derby restaurant in Los Angeles, California, and was affiliated with his brother, Addison Mizner, in a series of scams and picaresque misadventures that inspired Stephen Sondheim's musical Road Show (alternately known as Wise Guys, Gold! and Bounce).

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Wilson Mizner


Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down.

Wilson Mizner


Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

Wilson Mizner


Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.

Wilson Mizner


The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.

Wilson Mizner


Florida was invented for Addison Mizner's little brother.

Wilson Mizner


Failure has gone to his head.

Wilson Mizner


Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.

Wilson Mizner


Over in Hollywood they almost made a great picture, but they caught it in time.

Wilson Mizner


The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep.

Wilson Mizner


It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found.

Wilson Mizner


All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long.

Wilson Mizner


Art is science made clear.

Wilson Mizner


Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.

Wilson Mizner


A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.

Wilson Mizner


“I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, "Have you read --."”

Wilson Mizner