You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies.
Stephen Glenn "Steve" Martin (born August 14, 1945) is an American comedian, actor, writer, producer, and musician. Martin came to public notice in the 1960s as a writer for the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour, and later as a frequent guest on The Tonight Show. In the 1970s, Martin performed his offbeat, absurdist comedy routines before packed houses on national tours. Since the 1980s, having branched away from stand-up comedy, Martin has become a successful actor, as well as an author, playwright, pianist and banjo player, eventually earning him an Emmy, Grammy and American Comedy awards, among other honors. Wikipedia