“Judging me before you get to know me is a reflection of your problems. Judging me on my appearanc ...

It's funny with jeans now, because if they don't feel like a pair of sweatpants, I don't have patien ...

I love mankind; it's people I can't stand.

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.

“Never run in the rain with you're socks on”

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right.

I used to say I wanted somebody funny and intelligent, but kindness is the most important quality in ...

“I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me ...

“Life is not about posting other peoples quotes ad nausium, but creating your own. So others may s ...

“Have you been to The Land of Happy,Where everyone's happy all day,Where they joke and they singOf ...

“Looking good and dressing well is a necessity. Having a purpose in life is not.”

“That is the best - to laugh with someone because you think the same things are funny”

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

“It just shows you how funny this game is. You can not get a hit and still be in the game if your ...

You can only be funny if you have matters of great importance on your mind.

“I think it's kind of funny they're changing roles, but I'm also getting the impression that, over ...

I think good actors tend to be really funny.

“We've had people look at us funny when they see us together somewhere. They think that's odd for ...

“I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.”

“I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: "O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous." ...

“The idea came from a conversation with some friends at some drunken party. It seemed really funny ...