“The Complexity of the Human Life becomes double each year”

“I did some funny drawings. I tried to lighten us up a little bit, but that's about it.”

...

I read the script for Wonder Boys, and I said that was almost perfect, it was so classy, cool and fu ...

I am certain there is too much certainty in the world.

“Your'e going to hate me in a minute. Why waste time?”

Macho does not prove mucho.

“The faster you go, the shorter you are.”

“If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else”

“My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.”

“This just shows how deep the talent level in Funny Car is, ... No one is intimidated by John Forc ...

“Sometimes—or usually, in your case—the best thing to do is shut up.”

I know I can't play funny roles in movies. I tried, and it didn't work.

“Sometimes students find it funny when it happens to someone else.”

Now,I'm no scientist,but I know what endorphins are. They're tiny little magical elves that swim thr ...

All humor is based on hostility - that's why World War Two was funny.

“My son you are addicted to the facebook because you never liked to mind your own business; you al ...

“I'll love you, dear, I'll love you till China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the mounta ...

“Confidence is going after Moby Dick in a rowboat and taking the tartar sauce with you.”

“Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night”

I don't just randomly kill people... I kill people when it's funny.