“Look your best--who said love is blind?”

“Funny... most people prefer to struggle to survive -- instead of having FUN to thrive.”

Sex is funny and love is serious.

Never try to be funny right before people are about to masturbate.

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

You can take anything, and if you explore it right, you can make it funny.

“Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people ...

“Listen to everything and everybody BUT, only believe half of what you hear because we, as humans, ...

“Honey, tonight am all yours. You can eat me for dinner”

“Why are you angry? Are you sure, you are not hungry?”

I think we're the only jokeless show on television. I mean really, we have no setups and no punch li ...

I think Janeane Garofalo is incredibly funny, and I love Dennis Miller.

Every dogma has its day.

“What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.”

“I think I mentioned to Bob [Geldof] I could make love for eight hours. What I didn't say was that ...