“I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.”

“The Vulcan Neck Pinch is not half as powerful as the Vulcan Groin Kick, but it's more politically ...

It s funny to see a hatchling like you beaten by the old one.

A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.

“Probably the saddest thing you'll ever see is a mosquito sucking on a mummy. Forget it, little fr ...

Tennis is a funny game, and it takes a life-time of keeping one's eyes open on the circuit to have a ...

“Earl was laughing about it by then. He thought it was funny.”

“Safe Sex is Sexy Sex! SSSS”

“Us sing and dance, make faces and give flower bouquets, trying to be loved. You ever notice that ...

“Men wearing pants so tight that you can tell what religion they are.”

“I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.”

“To make a goal of comfort or happiness has never appealed to me; a system of ethics built on this ...

“I'm going to give my psychoanalyst one more year, then I'm going to Lourdes”

“When told that a certain woman would not hurt a fly Dorothy Parker retorted, "Not if it was butto ...

“Boredom is underrated.”

My father was really good with math. It's a funny thing, I don't remember my father or my mother bei ...

It is funny that men who are supposed to be scientific cannot get themselves to realise the basic pr ...

A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.

I'd rather proliferate funny little rumors than not.

Once you let go of your morals, everything becomes funny

I rant, therefore I am.