“Being Normal is over rated”
My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you're kidding?... Noooo... as funny as that is, I'm not
“No damn man kills me and lives.”
I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.
“Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward tog ...
“Never underestimate a good lotion, it can instantly make your body feel fabulous, and nourish you ...
A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.
“Some people make cracks about life... I live in them.”
Gotta stay in the gym, stay funny, stay sharp. I just love working.
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
I don't mean to be funny.
“Tis but a scratch''A scratch?! Your arm's off!''No, it isn't.”
A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age ...
“Every woman needs one man in her life who is strong and responsible. Given this security, she can ...
“If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.”
“Most fishermen look at you funny when you offer to pay them for fish guts.”
The reward of energy, enterprise and thrift is taxes.
I got my sense of humor from my grandmother. You know, my grandmother was very funny.
Every man has a sane spot somewhere.
“He is one of the most liked person on Facebook because, instead of wasting his time on Facebook, ...
“I missed the tree for the forest.”