If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the univers ...

“Send two dozen roses to Room 424 and put `Emily, I love you' on the back of the bill.”

I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.

“we can understand almost anything, but we can't understand how we understand”

“What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling throug ...

If people want to compete for leadership of a religious group, they can compete in piety. A chilling ...

I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me.

“People have often wondered how they'd feel if they were adopted. I think it's funny.”

“When you find a big kettle of crazy, it's best not to stir it.”

“I ran three miles today. Finally I said, "Lady take your purse."”

““The memory, colored by ideas, emotions, thoughts, beliefs and perceptions and aided by the ins ...

“My play was a complete success. The audience was a failure.”

“Since she got a cause and stopped being funny. I think she's real funny, but lately it's all been ...

“It's kind of funny because back when I played with him when I was 12 or 13, I never really played ...

“These animals hate to get wet. It's kind of funny.”

MC is a funny girl and always makes me laugh no matter what. I love her!

Too much agreement kills a chat.

“To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; wh ...

“Hippies, hippies... they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and play frisbee!”

I don't like people whose job it isn't to be funny, to tell me what is and isn't funny.