“I was raised in the West. The West of texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than W ...

Funny how a little politeness can change people's minds.

I never thought I was funny. I don't THINK funny.

The bigotry of the nonbeliever is for me nearly as funny as the bigotry of the believer.

“Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in J ...

People never ask people doing serious music, 'Do you ever think about doing funny music?'

“How often we recall, with regret, that Napoleon once shot at a magazine editor and missed him and ...

Snoopy didn't start off being a Beagle. It's just that 'beagle' is a funny word.

If you do not find me funny, that is your problem and I am not going away.

“Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.”

“I went through periods where you're just sort of writing things that are supposed to be funny and ...

...

“It's a funny world, and it's better to not care about it.”

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.

“Every person is responsible for his own looks after 40.”

Funny how gentle people get with you once you're dead.

“They are one big win away from being in the spotlight again. Respect is kind of a funny thing — ...

...

Not funny ha ha, funny weird

Sometimes I think what I write is funny in its quiet way.

“I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.”