“we can understand almost anything, but we can't understand how we understand”
“Now that you’re a Ford man, I’ll talk slow.”
I'm coming out of the belly of Iran. It was the only place I was free. It's funny - when I say that, ...
“The correlation coefficient between boy before marriage and boy after marriage is always -1.”
“Reality is merely an illusion, although a very persistent one”
“I do not believe that the Good Lord plays dice.”
“Whoever keeps his mouth shut when he realizes that he is wrong is wise and he who holds the mouth ...
Life has a funny way of helping you out when you think that everything's gone wrong.
“The one thing that disturbs me about Alec is that people don't realize that he's really funny.”
He looked about as inconspicuous as a tarantula on a slice of angel food.
Unfortunately, my career is increasingly leading me into rooms where everybody is funny.
Bear suits are funny - and bears as well.
“There are three things most men love but never understand; females, girls and women.”
“If you can't be good, be good at it.”
“Missionaries are going to reform the world whether it wants to or not”
Just because you're funny doesn't mean you get to be cruel.
“The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humoro ...
“The Internet is a telephone system that's gotten uppity.”
“How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand.”
“Gravity was always there but only Newton noticed, love is always there it just need your Newton, ...
“I would have felt a little funny if another actor was playing this role.”